Blog Post No. 1- Alter Ego
Trill feels like my alter ego now. I picture her very clearly. Small purple glasses, oval shaped. She doesn't live where I live, she's somewhere else like Boston or Seattle. She shakes peoples hands firmly and remembers their names because she's sure she'll see them again. Trill goes to gay bars and sings karaoke (KD Lang or Tori Amos usually). I like Trill, I think she'll make it easier to write the last portion of my current project. "The Modern Era" is what I'm calling the final act of the collection of autofiction that's sort of a memoir but the uncanny valley version titled, "The Great Inside." That's where Trill can depart from my otherwise undetermined future, she can determine it for me. I'll make a collage for Trill, one moment... There we go.
Trill doesn't rush, why should she have to? I love daydreaming, probably too much. But it's helping me to get through this season of being very cooped up. I need to sleep now, I probably won't get this coded up and posted until later. But here I am, trill-posting.
It's morning now and woof... I've had sleep issues since I was a kid and I don't have the best coping methods which means I have been taking a benadryl to sleep basically every night since September. I tried to go benadryl-less last night and let's just say it was a massive failure. But it gave me a lot of time to think and to write the first part of this blog post. Sleep is something that makes me very anxious, I spiral about whether I'll get any or not, which of course makes it harder to fall asleep. A bad cycle. So I just watched youtube until 4am and decided I can do my detox in earnest during summer break where it doesn't matter if I sleep or not (as much).
I guess I do need to get a move on with my day though. I usually have therapy every Wednesday but my therapist is in the Australian Outback this week so I'm off for the day. My goal is to finish this post and then code a sort of blog-directory so you can go to a masterlist of posts and choose from it. Relearning HTML has been a very nostalgic process for me, I used to use this all the time to make fancy posts on Warrior Cats RPG and my Howrse.com profile. Needless to say this is far more advanced and I have to google a LOT of things, like how to wrap my text around that image up there. I'll keep learning and getting better if you promise to do the same.
xoxo char/trill
April 9th, 2025
Trill doesn't rush, why should she have to? I love daydreaming, probably too much. But it's helping me to get through this season of being very cooped up. I need to sleep now, I probably won't get this coded up and posted until later. But here I am, trill-posting.
It's morning now and woof... I've had sleep issues since I was a kid and I don't have the best coping methods which means I have been taking a benadryl to sleep basically every night since September. I tried to go benadryl-less last night and let's just say it was a massive failure. But it gave me a lot of time to think and to write the first part of this blog post. Sleep is something that makes me very anxious, I spiral about whether I'll get any or not, which of course makes it harder to fall asleep. A bad cycle. So I just watched youtube until 4am and decided I can do my detox in earnest during summer break where it doesn't matter if I sleep or not (as much).
I guess I do need to get a move on with my day though. I usually have therapy every Wednesday but my therapist is in the Australian Outback this week so I'm off for the day. My goal is to finish this post and then code a sort of blog-directory so you can go to a masterlist of posts and choose from it. Relearning HTML has been a very nostalgic process for me, I used to use this all the time to make fancy posts on Warrior Cats RPG and my Howrse.com profile. Needless to say this is far more advanced and I have to google a LOT of things, like how to wrap my text around that image up there. I'll keep learning and getting better if you promise to do the same.
xoxo char/trill
April 9th, 2025