Blog Post No. 3- Dreams, Books, Eyes 
I put a lot of stock in dreams. It's kinda the initial inspiration for this entire website. Sometimes the malleable texture of my subconscious is a curse, though. It's not all fun tattoos and alter egos. In last night's case, it's startlingly intimate situations with people I have a) not seen or spoken to in a decade and b) never been in a romantic relationship with prior. I'm talking really deep cuts. I don't know where I'm going with this, but I just wanted to get it off my chest that gay sex dreams about straight people you went to high school with paint the rest of the day with a very interesting shade of "huh?"
Since we last spoke about Miranda July I have also finished Small Rain by Garth Greenwell, an author I wasn't sure I'd ever read again after my experience with his last novel Cleanness that left me feeling a little nauseated and sad. This book did the same but in a manner way more aligned with my tastes and experiences: Medical Trauma! Yeehaw! But really in all honesty this was a heart wrenching and fear inducing trip in one. It made me remember my CT scan and various ultrasounds and every IV I have ever had. I think about how much easier it all would have been if I'd gotten to go through it with an adult's brain instead of a 16 year old's brain. But the shrugging "well we don't know why this happened but you seem OK now so go home," of it all really hit home.
Anywaaaays. Trill is off grid for a week, I think she said something about a Shamanic ceremony in Tibet. That crazy kid, love to see her travel the world. I scheduled an eye exam finally so I can get my Trill glasses ordered soon. It's my last year of insurance, but I really only have four more months so I'm stacking up appointments. I really should go to the dentist too but the mere thought exhausts me. After 2022 when I got my top wisdom teeth out and fixed a bunch of stuff I had stalled on since high school I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to get into the chair. Sorry, this post started off with sex dreams and is pivoting to dentists. My brain has been a little scrambled this week and I saw my mom this morning so conflict abounds. But I'm doing OK, hope you are too.
xoxo char/trill
April 12th, 2025
Since we last spoke about Miranda July I have also finished Small Rain by Garth Greenwell, an author I wasn't sure I'd ever read again after my experience with his last novel Cleanness that left me feeling a little nauseated and sad. This book did the same but in a manner way more aligned with my tastes and experiences: Medical Trauma! Yeehaw! But really in all honesty this was a heart wrenching and fear inducing trip in one. It made me remember my CT scan and various ultrasounds and every IV I have ever had. I think about how much easier it all would have been if I'd gotten to go through it with an adult's brain instead of a 16 year old's brain. But the shrugging "well we don't know why this happened but you seem OK now so go home," of it all really hit home.
Anywaaaays. Trill is off grid for a week, I think she said something about a Shamanic ceremony in Tibet. That crazy kid, love to see her travel the world. I scheduled an eye exam finally so I can get my Trill glasses ordered soon. It's my last year of insurance, but I really only have four more months so I'm stacking up appointments. I really should go to the dentist too but the mere thought exhausts me. After 2022 when I got my top wisdom teeth out and fixed a bunch of stuff I had stalled on since high school I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to get into the chair. Sorry, this post started off with sex dreams and is pivoting to dentists. My brain has been a little scrambled this week and I saw my mom this morning so conflict abounds. But I'm doing OK, hope you are too.
xoxo char/trill
April 12th, 2025